You may have typed in any of the following challenges or questions to get to this page:
What do I do with inheritance money?
I inherited a lot of money and I feel guilty spending any of it. Is that normal?
How should I invest an inheritance?
Should I keep my parents' financial advisor?
What do I do with an inherited IRA?
Do I need a financial advisor for a large inheritance?
Written by Amy Parvaneh, founder and CEO of Select Advisors Institute
Excerpt and Summary:
If you just inherited money, you may feel frozen, guilty, or simply unsure where to begin. That's normal. This article walks you through what to do first, what can safely wait, and how to find an advisor you trust with money that carries so much meaning. You can look through directories on your own, or Select Advisors Institute can help you compare advisors and sit with you in those first conversations. Read more about this topic.
What do I do with inheritance money?
I just inherited money. Why do I feel so frozen?
Shouldn't I be relieved? Why does this feel so heavy?
Because this isn't just money. It's your mom's careful saving. It's your dad's 40 years at the same company. It's a phone call you never wanted to get.
You might be grieving, and every statement that arrives in the mail feels like a reminder.
You might feel guilty, as if spending a single dollar means you're "using" your parent.
You might be the sibling everyone now looks to, and you don't feel ready for that.
You might have received more money than you've ever seen in one place, and you're scared of messing it up.
Some people call this sudden wealth syndrome. It's real, it's common, and it doesn't mean anything is wrong with you.
Feeling frozen is not a failure. It's a signal to slow down.
What should I do first with inheritance money?
Honestly? Very little. At least at the start.
The first few months are about getting organized, not getting invested. Here's what usually helps:
Find out where the money actually is. Is it still in your parent's accounts? Is it held in a trust? Has it been moved into your name yet?
Figure out what type of money it is. Cash, a brokerage account, an inherited IRA, a house, life insurance. Each one comes with its own rules, and some come with deadlines.
Make a simple list. Every account, every statement, and every professional your parents worked with (advisor, CPA, attorney, insurance agent).
Park it somewhere safe and boring while you think. Talk to a professional about what "safe" means for your situation.
Keep a tiny notebook of questions. You'll be surprised how many come up at 2am.
There's no prize for investing it all by Friday. The money will still be there next month.
And here's what can usually wait:
Buying the bigger house (or selling your parents' house).
Lending money to the cousin who called the week after the funeral.
Saying yes to the "hot opportunity" a friend of a friend just told you about.
Quitting your job. (Maybe someday! Just not this week.)
It's amazing how many people suddenly have opinions once they hear you inherited money. You can smile, say "thank you, I'm still sorting things out," and change the subject. That's a complete sentence. You don't owe anyone a plan, a loan or an explanation while you're still figuring out what you have.
Am I the beneficiary, the trustee...or both?
The attorney keeps saying "trust." What does that mean for me?
This one trips up a lot of families.
If you're a trust fund beneficiary, someone else (the trustee) is in charge of the trust and makes distributions to you based on what the trust document says.
If you're the trustee, you're the one in charge. You may be responsible for paying bills, filing taxes, keeping records, and distributing money to your siblings. That's a real job, with real legal duties.
And sometimes you're both. Which is a lot to carry while you're still grieving.
Either way, ask the estate attorney to explain your role in plain English. You're allowed to ask twice. (And three times.)
[read our article around generational wealth transfer]
How do I invest an inheritance without messing it up?
Here's the thing about how to invest inheritance money: the "how" depends almost entirely on you.
Your age. Your other savings. Whether you want to pay off a mortgage, help your kids, give to a cause your mom loved, or simply sleep better at night.
Before anyone builds a portfolio for you, a good advisor should ask questions like:
"What did this money mean to your parents?"
"What do you want it to do for you, and for the people you love?"
"How would you feel if it dropped 20% in a bad year?"
"Are there taxes or deadlines we need to plan around first?"
If someone shows up to your first meeting with a glossy proposal before they've asked you a single question...that tells you something.
What to do with a large inheritance is a life question first, and an investment question second.
Should I keep my parents' financial advisor?
He's been with the family for 20 years. Would it be rude to look around?
Not rude at all. Smart, actually.
Your parents' advisor may be wonderful. They may also have been a great fit for a 78-year-old retiree, and not such a great fit for a 46-year-old with kids in school.
When I was at Goldman Sachs Private Wealth Management and later PIMCO, I saw from the inside how firms think about families when money passes from one generation to the next. Plenty of heirs move their money within a few years. Advisors know this, which is why the good ones work hard to earn your trust and not just assume it.
So meet with them. Ask questions. And give yourself permission to compare.
Are they a fiduciary, legally required to put your interests first?
Are they a fee only financial advisor, or do they also earn commissions on products?
Do they talk to you, or do they keep looking at your spouse or your brother?
[read: how to find or vet a financial advisor]
Is a financial advisor worth it for an inheritance?
For most people who inherit a meaningful amount, especially with trusts, retirement accounts or real estate involved, the answer is yes. But only the right one.
The right advisor helps you slow down, organizes everything, coordinates with your CPA and attorney, and explains your options until they actually make sense.
The wrong one rushes you, sells you products you don't understand, and sends a quarterly report you never open.
And yes, you should know exactly what you're paying before you sign anything.
[read about the cost of financial advisors]
Bottom line: an inheritance is a gift and a responsibility at the same time. You don't have to figure it all out this month, and you definitely don't have to figure it out alone.
The list of questions goes on and on!
And that's exactly where Select Advisors can come in and help!
Don't go through the process of finding or changing a financial advisor alone. We can help!
How can Select Advisors Institute help me handle my inheritance?
At Select Advisors Institute, we do not manage investments or provide financial advice. Instead, we offer strategic support to help you navigate the complexities of wealth management, ensuring that your financial relationships are structured to serve your best interests. By providing these services, we help you maintain control over your financial decisions, ensuring that your wealth management strategy aligns with your unique needs and objectives.
We'd love to speak with you about your goals, answer some of your top questions about the financial industry, and/or refer you to some of my favorite financial advisors in this space that may match your exact needs.
If you've just inherited money, you face unique challenges. You may be grieving, feeling guilty about the money, and trying to make sense of trusts, retirement accounts and family expectations all at once. Managing an inheritance well means slowing down, getting organized, and choosing people you can trust before any big decisions are made.
We provide comprehensive support by assisting in the organization and management of your financial advisor evaluation process. Our services include helping you define your financial needs and priorities before engaging professionals, drafting or reviewing RFPs for advisory and planning services, and building comparison frameworks across firms, services, and compensation models. We also track communications during advisor meetings to identify gaps or follow-ups, ensuring that you have all the necessary information to make informed decisions.
Hi, I'm Amy Parvaneh,
Since 2014, my firm has guided 100s of financial firms and thousands of financial advisors. I have been in the financial services industry since 2001, with a successful career at Goldman Sachs Private Wealth Management and then PIMCO.
Beyond advisor selection, we assist in gathering background materials and documentation for review, help interpret fee structures and service models, and coordinate introductions to firms that meet your specific criteria. Our team reviews public disclosures, monitors advisor changes or staff turnover that may impact your relationship, and facilitates communication with your legal, tax, and family office teams. We aim to translate industry jargon into terms that align with your values, providing debrief support after advisor interviews and designing internal decision-making frameworks across stakeholders. By serving as a neutral, long-term liaison, we help monitor alignment, organize your existing team for better visibility and clarity, and support onboarding logistics for newly selected firms. Our goal is to ensure that the advisor you choose fits your actual life, not just their presentation.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/amyparvaneh/
If you have any of the below questions, it's time to call us!
I just inherited money. What should I do first?
How long can I leave my inheritance in cash while I decide?
Should I keep my parents' financial advisor or look for a new one?
How do I know if my parents' advisor is a fiduciary?
What is the difference between a trust fund beneficiary and a trustee?
I inherited an IRA. Are there deadlines I need to know about?
Is it normal to feel guilty about spending inherited money?
What is sudden wealth syndrome, and how do people get through it?
How do I find a financial advisor who specializes in inheritance?
What questions should I ask an advisor before handing over my inheritance?
How much should I expect to pay a financial advisor?
What's the difference between a fee only financial advisor and a commission based one?
Should I pay off my mortgage with my inheritance?
How do I help my kids with my inheritance without spoiling them?
How do I talk to my siblings about the inheritance?
Who should coordinate between my advisor, CPA and estate attorney?
What do I do if I inherited a house I don't want to keep?
How do I make sure the inheritance lasts for the next generation?
Can someone sit with me in meetings so I don't feel lost?
I don't know where to start. Can you help me organize everything?
Select Advisors Institute is not a registered investment adviser and does not provide investment, legal, or tax advice. We are a boutique management consulting firm deeply embedded in the wealth management, asset management, family office, and UHNW sectors, advising financial institutions on strategic growth, talent development, investor communication, and brand positioning, while guiding ultra-high-net-worth families in advisor selection, coordination, and the day-to-day management of complex wealth structures.
Managing the wealth of ultra high net worth investors and family offices is a highly specialized and nuanced endeavor that requires the expertise of seasoned financial advisors. The best financial advisors for UHNW clients possess specialized knowledge, a fiduciary mindset, a customized approach, a robust network, a proven track record, expertise in philanthropic planning, and a sterling reputation. By carefully considering these factors, UHNW individuals and family offices can select financial advisors who are best suited to meet their unique and intricate financial management needs.