You may have typed in any of the following challenges or questions to get to this page:
How do I manage my finances after divorce?
My ex handled all the money. Where do I start?
Should I keep our financial advisor after the divorce?
What is a certified divorce financial analyst, and do I need one?
How do I find a financial advisor for divorced women?
Will I be okay on my settlement?
Written by Amy Parvaneh, founder and CEO of Select Advisors Institute
Excerpt and Summary:
If your ex always handled the money, a divorce settlement can feel like being handed the keys to a car you've never driven. This article explains what to do first with your finances after divorce, whether to keep the advisor you shared, and how to choose someone who works for you alone. Select Advisors Institute can help you compare advisors and sit with you in those first meetings. Read more about this topic.
My ex handled all the money. Now what?
"I signed the tax returns every year. I just never read them."
If that sounds familiar, you are far from alone. In so many marriages, one person "does the money" and the other does everything else. It works...until it doesn't.
You might have a settlement in hand, and no clear idea what's actually in each account.
You might be sharing an advisor with your ex, and every meeting feels awkward.
You might be receiving alimony or child support for the first time, and wondering how long it needs to stretch.
You might be thrilled to be free...and terrified at the same time.
All of those feelings can live in the same day. Sometimes the same hour.
Not knowing yet is not the same as not being able to learn.
What should I do first with my finances after divorce?
Think of the first few months as "getting the lay of the land." Here's a simple divorce financial checklist to start:
Know exactly what you received. Which accounts, which property, which retirement plans, and when each transfer actually happens. (Some retirement accounts need special paperwork to be split, so ask your attorney where yours stands.)
Get everything into your own name. Bank accounts, credit cards, insurance, utilities, the car title.
Change your passwords. All of them. Yes, even the streaming account.
Update your beneficiaries. Your ex may still be listed on your life insurance or retirement accounts. Ask your attorney what your agreement allows before you change anything.
Build a simple monthly budget. What's coming in, what's going out, and what's left. This one exercise answers half of the "am I going to be okay?" question.
Check your credit report. Make sure there are no joint accounts you forgot about.
And try not to make big, emotional money moves right away. The house you "have to" keep, or the house you "have to" sell immediately, can usually wait until the dust settles.
Do I need a certified divorce financial analyst, or a financial advisor?
Good question, and the answer is often "both, at different times."
A certified divorce financial analyst (CDFA) typically helps during the divorce. They can help you and your attorney understand what a proposed settlement may mean for you over time, like what that house or that pension is really worth.
A financial advisor or wealth manager typically helps after the divorce, managing the money you walked away with and building a plan around your new life.
If you're still in the middle of the process, it's worth asking your attorney whether a CDFA makes sense for your situation. If you're already through it, this is when choosing your own advisor really matters.
[read: Life After Divorce: Who Helps You Get It All Together?]
Should I keep our financial advisor after the divorce?
He's been "our" advisor for 15 years. But was he ever really mine?
This is one of the most common questions I hear, especially from women.
Sometimes the shared advisor is a wonderful fit and both spouses stay. But often the advisor's real relationship was with the spouse who handled the money. Many women tell me they simply don't feel comfortable staying with "his" advisor, and that's a perfectly valid reason to look around.
When I was at Goldman Sachs Private Wealth Management and later PIMCO, I saw how often firms quietly decide which spouse is "the client" long before a divorce ever happens. You deserve an advisor who sees you as the client from the very first meeting.
A few questions to ask yourself:
Did this advisor ever call me directly, or only my ex?
Do I feel comfortable asking him a "dumb" question? (There's no such thing, but you know what I mean.)
Will he still be managing my ex's money too? How do I feel about that?
How do I find a financial advisor for divorced women (or men)?
There are thousands of advisors out there. Thousands of titles. Thousands of promises.
Here's what tends to matter most after a divorce:
Experience with people going through big life changes, not just people with big portfolios.
Patience. You want someone who teaches, not someone who lectures.
Planning, not just investing. Can they help you think through housing, cash flow, your kids' education and retirement on one income?
Clear, simple fees. Ask whether they're a fee only financial advisor, or whether they also earn commissions on products.
A fiduciary commitment, meaning they're required to put your interests first.
Interview at least two or three advisors. Bring a friend, or bring a list. Take notes. Then sleep on it.
[read: how to find or vet a financial advisor]
Will I be okay?
This is the question underneath all the others. And it deserves a real answer, not a pat on the head.
A good advisor should be able to sit with you, look at your settlement, your income and your expenses, and show you in plain English what your future can look like under a few different scenarios. Not a promise. A plan you understand.
That plan might answer questions like:
"Can I afford to stay in this house, or would I feel lighter somewhere smaller?"
"Do I need to go back to work, or work more, or is this my choice?"
"How much can I spend each year and still feel safe at 85?"
"How do I help the kids with college without shortchanging my own retirement?"
Once you see the numbers laid out, a lot of the 3am panic tends to quiet down. Sometimes the news is better than you feared. Sometimes there are trade offs to make. Either way, you get to make them with your eyes open.
And you should know exactly what that help costs before you sign anything.
[read about the cost of financial advisors]
Bottom line: your ex may have always driven, but you're fully capable of taking the wheel. You just deserve a good map and a patient co-pilot.
The list of questions goes on and on!
And that's exactly where Select Advisors can come in and help!
Don't go through the process of finding or changing a financial advisor alone. We can help!
How can Select Advisors Institute help me take control of my finances after divorce?
At Select Advisors Institute, we do not manage investments or provide financial advice. Instead, we offer strategic support to help you navigate the complexities of wealth management, ensuring that your financial relationships are structured to serve your best interests. By providing these services, we help you maintain control over your financial decisions, ensuring that your wealth management strategy aligns with your unique needs and objectives.
We'd love to speak with you about your goals, answer some of your top questions about the financial industry, and/or refer you to some of my favorite financial advisors in this space that may match your exact needs.
If you've just come out of a divorce and your ex handled the money, you face unique challenges. You may be learning what you own for the first time, untangling accounts and advisors you once shared, and planning around a single household income. Getting this right means understanding your settlement, setting up your financial life in your own name, and choosing advisors who see you as the client.
We provide comprehensive support by assisting in the organization and management of your financial advisor evaluation process. Our services include helping you define your financial needs and priorities before engaging professionals, drafting or reviewing RFPs for advisory and planning services, and building comparison frameworks across firms, services, and compensation models. We also track communications during advisor meetings to identify gaps or follow-ups, ensuring that you have all the necessary information to make informed decisions.
Hi, I'm Amy Parvaneh,
Amy Parvaneh, founder of Select Advisors
Since 2014, my firm has guided 100s of financial firms and thousands of financial advisors. I have been in the financial services industry since 2001, with a successful career at Goldman Sachs Private Wealth Management and then PIMCO.
Beyond advisor selection, we assist in gathering background materials and documentation for review, help interpret fee structures and service models, and coordinate introductions to firms that meet your specific criteria. Our team reviews public disclosures, monitors advisor changes or staff turnover that may impact your relationship, and facilitates communication with your legal, tax, and family office teams. We aim to translate industry jargon into terms that align with your values, providing debrief support after advisor interviews and designing internal decision-making frameworks across stakeholders. By serving as a neutral, long-term liaison, we help monitor alignment, organize your existing team for better visibility and clarity, and support onboarding logistics for newly selected firms. Our goal is to ensure that the advisor you choose fits your actual life, not just their presentation.
https://www.linkedin.com/in/amyparvaneh/
If you have any of the below questions, it's time to call us!
My ex handled all the money. Where do I start?
Should I keep the financial advisor we shared during our marriage?
How do I find a financial advisor for divorced women?
What is a certified divorce financial analyst, and do I need one?
What's the difference between a CDFA and a wealth manager?
How do I know exactly what I received in my settlement?
How are retirement accounts split in a divorce?
Will my settlement last for the rest of my life?
How do I build a budget on a single income?
Should I keep the house or sell it?
How do I update my beneficiaries after divorce?
How do I plan around alimony or child support?
How much should I expect to pay a financial advisor?
What's a fee only financial advisor?
How do I know if an advisor is a fiduciary?
What questions should I ask in my first advisor meeting?
How do I rebuild my credit in my own name?
How do I coordinate my advisor, CPA and divorce attorney?
Can someone come with me to advisor meetings?
I feel overwhelmed. Can you help me organize everything?
Select Advisors Institute is not a registered investment adviser and does not provide investment, legal, or tax advice. We are a boutique management consulting firm deeply embedded in the wealth management, asset management, family office, and UHNW sectors, advising financial institutions on strategic growth, talent development, investor communication, and brand positioning, while guiding ultra-high-net-worth families in advisor selection, coordination, and the day-to-day management of complex wealth structures.
Managing the wealth of ultra high net worth investors and family offices is a highly specialized and nuanced endeavor that requires the expertise of seasoned financial advisors. The best financial advisors for UHNW clients possess specialized knowledge, a fiduciary mindset, a customized approach, a robust network, a proven track record, expertise in philanthropic planning, and a sterling reputation. By carefully considering these factors, UHNW individuals and family offices can select financial advisors who are best suited to meet their unique and intricate financial management needs.